March 13, 2009
Start smoking: It just may save a child’s life!
I do realize that most people don’t smoke and so they ignore all of the attacks on smokers. It’s not you, and you hate those pesky smokers, anyway. They’re always polluting your lungs!
I’m a smoker, I guess. OK, well, I typically smoke a couple of cigarettes a day (I mean, one to three a day), and usually on my balcony, on the eighth floor of my apartment building where no one else has to deal with it.
I’ve tried quitting. I actually quit for four years, once. As every smoker knows, though, you never truly quit. You will always have one more cigarette, whether it’s at a funeral, or at the bar. You never truly quit, there will always be another cigarette, another drag.
President Obama gets that. He’s a Marlboro Man, the only reason I have left to like him.
What I don’t like, though, is that he has placed the burden of middleclass children’s health care upon my shoulders.
Can someone, anyone, please, explain to me why I should be responsible for the health care of middleclass children just because I smoke? I’m not really getting the connection. Ed Morrissey explains it best.
Here’s the thing. The idea that higher taxes are going to get people to quit smoking is a lie, and every smoker knows that. We all set some arbitrary price that would make us quit. For most, it was $5. When I started smoking cigarettes were under $2 a pack. After the first round of taxes, I swore, I would never pay $5. Then I found myself on a business trip in Manhattan. I needed a ciggy, and I quickly spent $5 at the local deli. Now, I’ve paid as much as $10.
I just don’t get what they’re intent is. You ban smoking from the public square, while placing the burden of children’s health care on smokers. Do you want us to smoke or not? I mean, if I could save a child, I suppose I should be smoking more. In fact, if you don’t smoke, you might want to consider lighting up. Don’t you want children to have health care? You don’t smoke? How selfish could you be?
This is the problem when you use sin taxes to support supposedly honorable programs. You are encouraging the sin by basing it on a noble cause, while you are discouraging the sin by taxing it to death. Do you want me to smoke or not? I’m conflicted.
In order to save more children, I think we should reintroduce Joe the Camel, and I’ll start hanging out on middle school and high school playgrounds.
I mean, in order to save children, it is my job to enlist more smokers to support the cause.
Thank you for the clarification! Start smoking: It just may save a child’s life!
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Hi. My name is Larry.
I am a recovering smoker.
Drives doctors crazy, they want “Yes” or “No”.
So I say “yes”. Then they want to know how many packs a day.
So I say “zero”. So they want to know how many cigawretts a day, and again I say “zero”.
Along in here somewhere they catch on and ask when did I last smoke a cigarette.
And here is where I wish I had done things differently, because I don’t know the answer to that question–and it turns out to be important.
I can describe the day–I waqs sick and out of cigarettes and the weather was foul, and I started to get dressed to go out into the weather (nearest store fas about 7 miles away then)…and decided that this was seriously stupid.
It turns out that the treatment for Wet Macular Eye Degeneration is dangerous to smokers for five years after they “quit”.
I am put off by the smell of cigarettes (the cause of most of my failures to quit–conference rooms where I was the only one not smoking), but I still think about trying just one.
But I have known enough Friends of Bill to be convinced that just one would be one too many.
Comment by Larry Sheldon — March 13, 2009 @ 8:27 pm
Am I dodging my responsibilities to the kids if I smoke only cigars?
Comment by Steven — March 14, 2009 @ 7:44 am
Get started on that MA thesis. I never finished and it was a big mistake. Email me if you want to discuss. What is your thesis topic?
Comment by Gene — March 14, 2009 @ 9:53 pm
Does this mean non-smokers are unpatriotic?
Comment by Robert Stacy McCain — March 14, 2009 @ 11:04 pm
I think he’s more of a Kool Filter Kings man myself..
Comment by Dave C — March 15, 2009 @ 10:28 am
Gene–I am writing my thesis on abortion. Specifically, how the American public has been duped into believing that the issue is about a woman’s right to privacy when it’s really about a multi-billion dollar industry, where Planned Parenthood brings in over one-third of it’s budget from abortion alone. I will get it done. I just don’t know when.
Stacy–Yes, this does mean that non-smokers are unpatriotic, and that they obviously hate children. Why else would they want middleclass parents to have to make their children’s healthcare a priority and pay for their own insurance? As smokers, this is so obviously our responsibility.
Dave C–I would have assumed a Newport Man, but my google sources say he’s all about the Marb reds: http://abcnews.go.com/politics/Story?id=2855994&page=1.
Comment by Monique — March 15, 2009 @ 10:38 am
Dear Monique: Please excuse Frequent Commenter Dave, whom I have scolded (at my own blog) for his racist assertion that black people prefer menthol cigarettes.
Comment by Robert Stacy McCain — March 15, 2009 @ 10:49 am
Dave may be a racist (it’s ok Dave) but he’s right that mainly black men smoke Kools. Like mainly women (black and other) smoke Virginia Slim ultra light menthols. I dated a black saxaphone player several decades ago and he didn’t just smoke Kools. He destroyed them. After three tokes half the cigarette was ash and the other half was flat.
Comment by Gina — March 15, 2009 @ 6:42 pm
Start smoking: It just may save a child’s life!
Great Headline!!!!
Not only are we banned from the public, we are now responsible for their childrens healthcare.
Why not tax fast food instead? Everybody eats and obesity is a much bigger problem in America than smoking! Smokers just die. Obese people gather a whole list of medical conditions costing a whole bunch of money. This includes the public’s children!!!!!
Well, at least they finally realize that smokers are the “Upper Class”. Because we can afford it, right?
Comment by Carrie — April 4, 2009 @ 5:46 am
STOP SMOKING THIS WEBSITE IS A JOKE AND A SCAM TO CHILDREN SO STOP SMOKING BEFORE YOU DIE FROM LUNG CANCER
Comment by Sonny — April 6, 2009 @ 11:41 am
Smoking kills… this website is SO STUPID… Everyone knows smoking KILLS… DDDDDDDDDDDUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHH…
Comment by lola — April 6, 2009 @ 11:44 am
STOP ADVERTISING PEOPLE TO SMOKE. IT KILLS 1,000,000 PEOPLE A YEAR FROM LUNG CANCER BECAUSE THEY’RE TOO STUPID TO KNOW THAT THEY’RE SCAMMING YOU AND THEY’RE NOT GIVING THE MONEY TO THE POOR AND HUNGRY, THEY’RE GETTING RICH OFF YOU!!!!!! IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, BLAME THEM, NOT ME! SORRY IF I SAY THIS, BUT THAT’S THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!
Comment by Stella — April 6, 2009 @ 11:54 am
[...] Better do something to get my mojo back. Ummm…Yuri Fukijawa. Kyoko Fujikawa. Yuri and Kyoko Fujikawa…Smoking! [...]
Pingback by The Anti-Rule 5 « The TrogloPundit — April 13, 2009 @ 10:28 pm
[...] you love children…. Then for Pete’s sake startsmoking!/ Come on people Little Joey here cannot do it ALL by [...]
Pingback by If you love children…. « The Daley Gator — April 14, 2009 @ 8:54 pm
Smokers are ugly people, they smell like shit, look like shit. But keep smoking them, because retards such as people who get annouyed that they can’t smoke in some public place well duh YOU SMELL,PEOPLE ARE ALLERGIC TO SMOKE,AND ITS ANNOUYING.
But no really,keep smoking, it’s a great way of population control :-). Cheers<3
Comment by your dumb — April 20, 2009 @ 1:01 pm
don’t smoke!!!!!!!!!!!
IT KILLLLSSSS FOR GOD SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment by thanan — April 22, 2009 @ 6:15 am
it’ s stupid NEVA smoke peeps under 16 are far too young to smoke so dont i jus cant belife that u wud make a website to encourage very young kids to smoke because you hav smoked and nowt happend to u nobodys the same som small kid could start smoking coz of u and get lung cancer u low life saddo :’( proves u hav nowt to do with ur life
Comment by morgi — April 23, 2009 @ 4:37 am
its discraseful smoking and teaching little kids to smoke its the worst thing that can happen u dipstik ……
im reporting it to the police and the goverment
u horrble person
>:(
Comment by ellie belly — April 23, 2009 @ 4:41 am
After they tear away a person’s right to smoke. What’s next?
Prohibition – Another fantastic idea to protect the people from thinking for themselves.
Following that? Does food get rationed? What happened liberty?
Comment by Captain Planet — April 23, 2009 @ 8:07 am
i think smoking is great stuf becuase it makes stress go away init bruvvv wooottt !! :)
Comment by lizzie smith — May 6, 2009 @ 5:38 am
THIS WEBSITE IS A LOAD OF SHIT AND I REPORTED IT TO THE POLICE U ASSHOLES
Comment by jessica foster — May 6, 2009 @ 9:46 am
to lizzie smith two comments up from mine
smoking may take the stress away for a while buit actually stresses your nervous system
Comment by Rory — May 11, 2009 @ 4:23 pm
if smokig was illegal then alot less people would smoke it is a drug so why shouldnt it be banned
Comment by richard — May 14, 2009 @ 5:48 am
yo mum is so fat she went to the cinema and sat next to every1
Comment by paul — May 14, 2009 @ 5:49 am
y r u trying to kill young kids its illegal to smoke under the age of 18 and your trying to get young kids to smoke illegaly when you are young and smoke its 5times more dangerous as all your organs are still developin. who ever made this website should be shot as they are a low life time waster lonely weirdo uuuu getzz mee rude boii woooooot oh yh itza black bally ting safe homeslice
Comment by richard randle ,england,derby — May 14, 2009 @ 5:57 am
All these people who think this is to get kids to start smoking are very stupid. Obviously they didnt pick up on the real point of this article.
Comment by Drew — May 14, 2009 @ 1:22 pm
you are all sick!!!! HA HA
Comment by HA HA — May 27, 2009 @ 1:52 pm
ha ha
Comment by HA HA — May 27, 2009 @ 1:52 pm
smoking ciggarettes is really the most retarded thing to do. Unlike heroin, cocaine, or meth it doesn’t really get you high but it’s just as addictive as those. You’d be better off shooting smack really, at least you’d look way cooler than puffing on a cigarette. You look at a smoker and think, jeez look at that retard. I smoked too and quit. I took it up again and quit again. It is not worth it, it is really not very hard to quit but we rationalize it in our mind that it will calm us down. It doesn’t. It’s all the power of your mind that makes you believe you need it. The withdrawals are very mild. Try kicking benzodiazpenes if you want to see what real hell of a withdrawal is. Fuck smoking it sucks.
Comment by meh — June 13, 2009 @ 8:36 am
to the person who posted a comment at 11:44 am…..i would like to know why your on here if this website is so stupid…..duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh
Comment by gloria — June 14, 2009 @ 6:15 pm
this is fukn stupid every1 is entitled to there own say so let them be!!!
Comment by u ding — June 25, 2009 @ 7:25 am
SAY NO TO SMOKE!
YOU TRY YOU KILL UR SELF!
SMOKE = DIE!
Comment by RIZKA — June 28, 2009 @ 10:54 am
When did it become ’socially normal’ that smokers have to bend over for non-smokers?
I remember when smokers had the right to smoke pretty much anyplace they damn well wanted to, including on airplanes, supermarket aisles and public events.
And that wasn’t all that long ago.
A few weeks ago I was in a mall and I saw a young lady walking across the mall with her friend and she was holding a lit cigarette. What struck me is how unusual it is to see anyone doing that anymore, like the ’smoke police’ are going to jump out from behind a wall and drown them with fire extinguisher foam.
That young lady (probably about 20) had more cajones than any man in the place, more power to her.
Comment by paisistratus — July 9, 2009 @ 7:29 pm
No kidding!
Comment by VF — July 14, 2009 @ 8:39 pm
[...] As part of the ongoing process of denouncing David Brooks, Stacy McCain points to a much manlier man: However much I disagree politically with our Kenyan Marxist progressive president, I’ll grant him this: He smokes Marlboro Reds. [...]
Pingback by dustbury.com » Extrapolate at your own risk — September 1, 2009 @ 6:28 pm
[...] (Via Memeorandum.) Spencer Ackerman appears to be skeptical, which means this is probably a good idea. If the Bush administration had done this, Andrew Sullivan would be in an apoplectic frenzy. But I always knew there was something I liked about Obama. Not just his Marlboro Red habit. [...]
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