April 8, 2009
Father, It’s my first time.
Talk about a sentence I never thought I would be saying in a church to a priest, but there you have it.
As some of you may know, I’ve called myself a Catholic my whole life. I never went through all of the “Catholic stuff,” though. I decided that this was the year. Since August I have been going to a weekly class leading up to Easter where I’ll experience my First Communion and Confirmation. I’ve been preparing for this throughout lent.
So, today was my first confession. I was a little hesitant, to say the least. My biggest problem with the Catholic Church is the Sacrament of Reconciliation. I don’t believe that I need to confess my sins to a priest in order to properly repent and be forgiven by God. But, since this is their game and that is how it is played, there I was.
It’s hard to confess 28 years worth of sin. I mean, I’m sure there’s plenty I just don’t remember. Never mind, there are just those things you would rather forget. I’ve already spoken to God about them. Why am I telling this priest?
I went for the gusto. Told him what I consider my biggest sin, sprinkled with others that I could quickly list off the top of my head. We are all sinners; none of us perfect. He’s worried about how I’m going to avoid these pitfalls in the future. So am I!
Honestly, though, I felt much better afterward. Maybe confession is good for the soul, after all. And, I got all of the worst stuff out today. It has to be easier in the future, right? Let’s hope so!
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Now I’m not catholic, but Eastern Orthodox and as I understand Catholic theology on this point, you do confess to God but the priest is an icon, a witness, and a check point. It’s easy to admit one is doing something wrong to oneself and continue to do it over and over again, but another person makes it harder to keep doing cheating because they ask those horrible questions like how are you going to avoid this is the future or how are you going to make this right?
As to easier, I don’t know. For me some of the confessions I dreaded the most were very supportive and some I thought routine were very painful, growth – that’s the word – experiences.
Could be worse as in the early Church you confessed to the community before service
God bless.
Comment by Kevin — April 9, 2009 @ 4:57 pm
Welcome aboard, Monique.
I agree with my Eastern Orthodox brother. And, I will add this: try to think of this confession as almost analogous to Rudy Giuliani’s ‘broken windows’ policy (police the small stuff and the big stuff takes care of itself). Sure, the first one was hard, and packed full of 28 years worth of gems, but the next time will be easier. And there will be fewer. And they will be smaller. And as time goes by, you’ll be concerned about the small things, close to your heart and soul, and the large things will take care of themselves.
Or, you could be a sociopath. I dunno, I just found this blog.
Nah, stick with it Monique. I’m told, and I believe, it’s worth it in the end.
Vivat Jesus.
= )
Comment by John — April 12, 2009 @ 2:37 pm