November 11, 2009
Always looking for the next best thing? That’s the “American Dream?”
My good friend S.Logan has a great piece up that she posted, yesterday. It’s unfortunate I only had the opportunity to meet her in person, once, and that we missed each other down in Hotlanta, but she is a great girl and often makes me sit back and think. Her most recent post is no different:
A few days ago, I was telling HotMES (who has a great piece up about the sniper death sentence) that my idea of “success” has been destroyed in the last couple of weeks. I used to want to live in the spotlight: have my name on a masthead under “Editor-in-Chief,” live in a pretty high-rise apartment, and see and be seen at fancy cocktail parties. I wanted to be somebody, and that’s what I thought signified you had arrived. Since, however, I’ve realized that scenario involves years of chasing the wind or climbing one rung after the next on a never-ending ladder.
And, then, you die.
Sounds depressing, but isn’t that the American dream without the spitshine and white picket fence? Reaching a new level of success, in whatever form that is to you, in order to be satisfied for .3 seconds before feeling the pressure to begin striving again for that next level. In this process, true satisfaction always alludes, tempting its followers farther on until the end when their years have been spent and it is permanently beyond their reach.
I guess this spoke to me because I was just saying to a friend the other day that I probably won’t spend much more than another year or two in my current job. There are many reasons for this, but the reason I was telling her about that day was that within the next six months I will have hit the highest pay grade for the position I’m currently in. Why would I want to stay if I can’t keep moving up? If I can’t move up, I move out.
This is unsettling for many different reasons. One is that I will never be happy this way, personally and professionally. I’ll always be looking for the next best thing. And, looking at my past, this has been my pattern since college, at least. I’m not sure if this realization will change anything for me. In a way, this is how I have always been. I never really thought of it as the American Dream, but I guess it really is. No matter what your most recent accomplishment is the next question is always, “What are you going to do next?”
When you graduate from high school everyone wants to know if your going to college. That’s great you finished high school, but what are you doing next? Just started dating someone, when are you getting engaged? Engaged, then when are you getting married? Married, when will you start having kids? It’s the, “what have you done for me, lately?” question. Everything you do is just a passing memory, slipping away as you’re doing it.
I admire Suzanna for having the courage to walk away from it all to fulfill a higher purpose with her life. It’s a shame that she posts so infrequently because I always look forward to hear what she has to say. Either way, go read the whole thing and maybe it will give you something to think about.
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